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Some nights life just feels like..

March 6, 2006

Untitled Monologue to An Answering Machine:

I guess I should get used to this
and that this is how things will always be with you and I
that everytime I get a little too close, everytime you let me in a little too much
you remind me of it and slam the door in my face, leaving me to pick up the pieces
then you open the door again, like nothing’s changed, nothing’s happened

i guess the saddest part about all of this, is that I keep knocking
because while you have someone to love outside of this, I do not
left to deal with much of the pain its caused me on my own
and maybe it’s for the best that we never met
For surely, if we had I’d have seen something in your eyes, in your smile
something that would have made me feel safe
even when I so clearly wasn’t

I guess that’s why I feel so betrayed, betrayed by my own heart and by this situation
i was made to feel comfortable with you, made to feel safe
made to feel like when I talked to you that time stood still
that nothing outside of that moment mattered
not your relationship, not the distance between us
when in reality, the opposite was true
your relationship and that distance between us was the only thing that mattered
was the only thing real enough to drive us apart and keep us there.

good night.

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